Strange Feeling in the Pit of One's Squeedlyspooch
by Wandering Namekian
Summary: Just a little story of doom, etc. Gaz is going to destroy Dib, and something is wrong with Zim's squeedlyspooch. Ships term used very loosely are ZAGR and GADR Gretchen and Dib, not Gaz and Dib, living in Georgia, I see enough incest. Chapter 4 is up.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everybody! It's my first Invader Zim fic. Yay! I'm starting something new with this story, to make sure everyone reads the author's note. If you have read the author's note, use squeedlyspooch as the first word of your review, if you don't I will destroy you. Many references to Invader Zim episodes and a few to Jhonen Vasquez's other works (these are mainly references to Pepito). Ships are ZAGR and GADR (Gretchen and Dib, not Gaz and Dib, I live in Georgia; I see enough incest as it is).**

**Read and review please people, it lets me know you care, and if you don't care, I won't care, and then there won't be updates, or sequels. Even if you think I am the worst writer in history, review and tell me, constructive criticism is the best way to learn, but hell, if you want to get rid of the constructive part, go ahead. I think there is nothing more annoying than people who beg you not to flame them, because if they're begging you not to, that usually means they deserve it. Sorry about making this so long, I'll try to keep it shorter in the future. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, if anything it owns me. **

**Bold is author's notes **

_Italics are Thoughts_

" " are Speech

' ' are Notes, poems, etc.

**Now, onto the story:**

That Strange Feeling in the Pit of One's Squeedlyspooch

It was the last day of the skool year and Miss Bitters was giving her students the last lecture of doom she would ever give them, or so she thought. "Doom awaits all of you as soon as you leave this classroom. And I want you to know that, no matter what you do in the future, to make sure, that it doesn't involve me in anyway!"

The children all looked at each other, as if to ask their classmates why they would want Miss Bitters to be involved in their futures in the first place.

"Your future's will be filled with hideous implosions, and doom will follow you all, no matter where you go! No matter how hard you try to hide! Doom, doom, doom, doom, do-" Miss Bitters' ranting was cut off by the PA system.

"Attention students and teachers, due to the fact that they heard that Dib was going to graduate, all the middle skool teachers went on strike and the only way to get them to come back was to promise them that they would never have Dib for a student. This means that he will have to remain with the same teacher until he graduates, and so will the rest of you. That is all."

The students' (and Miss Bitters') shock soon turned to violent rage, and it was not long before they became an angry, violent mob, target: Dib. Said target slowly backed into a corner, whimpering, as the mob of angry students (and one _very_ angry teacher) surrounded him.

"Because of you, I am going to be forced to teach you and the rest of these horrible excuses for human beings-" Miss Bitters started to say to Dib.

"I am a human being!" yelled Zim, cutting her off. Miss Bitters glared at him for a moment before continuing to threaten Dib.

"This is worse than when I had the Anti-Christ for a student, and he blew up the skool.Sending you to the Underground Classroom would be letting you off easy, I have a better idea as to what to do with you." Dib closed his eyes in horror, knowing that whatever Miss Bitters had in store for him was worse than anything he could imagine or comprehend. The mob continued to close in around Dib, as he tried to back further into the corner, only to be stopped by the wall. Suddenly the mob stopped, but instead of feeling relieved, more dread soon poured over him as Dib realized why the mob had stopped, the voice of his sister, Gaz.

"Curse you, Dib! Curse you!" she yelled angrily, her voice shattering the windows of the classroom, "the next time I see you, you're going to wish you had Radioactive Rubber Pants marching through your giant head, instead of getting me stuck with this gay idiot of a teacher until I graduate!"

When Dib opened his eyes, he saw that Miss Bitters was stopping his classmates from attacking him. "What his sister is going to do to him is much worse than anything we could do. She will torment, humiliate, and torture him in ways the rest of us couldn't even dream of. And it's all because she knows him better than anyone else. She knows his weak points, what makes him cry, how to ruin his life without even trying. That's why I love family," Miss Bitters said, floating back to her desk, secure in the knowledge that Dib's existence would not go unpunished.

As Dib sat back down, he was too scared of what Gaz was going to do to him that he didn't notice that one girl, the same girl that had given him meat on Valentines Day, had never gotten up to join the angry mob that had tried to kill him.

* * *

Zim couldn't believe he'd just missed the chance to destroy Dib, again, it was really starting to get on his nerves. He had no idea what Gaz was planning to do to Dib, but it sounded horrible, horrible enough for Miss Bitters to believe that it was worse than anything even she could do. He wondered if she would let him watch, or maybe she even needed some help. Dib's pain was one of his only forms of entertainment, that and the addictive earth video games.

* * *

Gaz stormed angrily out of her classroom, where everyone (including Mr. Elliot) was still cowering in the corner, to afraid to move after her little out burst. She couldn't believe what her idiotic brother had done this time; she knew one thing though she was not going to stay in Mr. Elliot's class until she graduated. He was just too happy it made her sick. The principal had told her earlier in the year that she could have skipped a grade, she had declined the opportunity to spend more time around Dib than she currently did, but now she didn't have a choice, if there was one person she hated more than Dib, it was Mr. Elliot. Also, if she was in his class she might be able to keep Dib from doing (more) stupid things to ruin her life. Although, she still felt like a death row inmate, who had been given the choice of weather she wanted die in the electric chair or be hanged.

Gaz threw open the double doors to the principal's office, which, in reality, looked more like the meeting room of an evil society than the office of an elementary skool principal.

"I want to take the test to skip a grade," she said, in her usual emotionless tone, not letting onto how angry she actually was.

"So you've come to your senses, good," the principal responded. He dropped his little slightly dog-like animal, so he could press a button from a row of sinister looking buttons and levers on the wall. As soon as he did so, a couple of tiles in the floor moved aside and a giant stack of papers came up from what Gaz assumed was the depths of the Place Beneath the Overworld.

"This is the test," he said, pointing at the stack of papers. "You have one hour. Oh, and if you don't pass, we're wiping your brain and using you to test the new food in the cafeteria." At least if she didn't pass the test she wouldn't have to be in Mr. Elliot's class anymore. Wiping her brain didn't seem so bad, she wouldn't remember who Dib was that way, although she wouldn't remember what video games were either. She almost shuddered at the idea of life without video games, failing obviously wasn't an option. Not that she was worried though, she never failed. She picked up the stack of papers (quite a remarkable feat considering the stack was taller than she was) and walk out of the room.

* * *

-7 minutes and 42 seconds later- 

"Finished," said Gaz as she walked back into the principal's evil looking office.

"Ok then," the principal responded, astonished, "now we'll see how you did." He pulled one of the sinister looking levers and a giant machine emerged through another space where the floor opened up to the Place Beneath the Overworld, which seemed to have a direct link to the school. The principal put the giant stack of papers into the machine and random lights on it began to flash. A few minutes later the lights stopped and a piece of paper came out of a slot on the side of the machine. The principal grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it.

"So, how'd I do?" Gaz asked.

"You got a score of 108, odd, because the test is only out of 100 points. But that doesn't matter. You can move on to the next grade," he said. "You will be in Miss Bitters' class. Go there. Now!" He pointed at the door.

Gaz smiled as she headed to her new classroom, not because she was happy she had done so well and therefore would not be used for cafeteria testing, but because she had just figured out exactly what she was going to do to Dib.

* * *

Miss Bitters twitched when she heard her phone ring. She growled and pressed a button on her desk, causing yet another hole leading to the Place Beneath the Overworld to open as her phone rose up to her desk, souls escaping as it did so. She snatched the phone off the receiver. "You better be telling me I'm getting a raise" she spat angrily at the person on the other side of the phone. 

Strange noises that didn't really sound like voices at all came out of phone, but Miss Bitters seemed to understand them.

"What? Another one? You'll regret this!" she seethed, slamming the phone back down on the receiver. It descended again, another soul tired to escape, only to be snatched up by a hand attached to an arm in a grey striped shirt.She turned to her students. "Class, to celebrate the fact that Dib is the worst person ever to live, a new student has skipped a grade to join our class, his sister, Gaz."

As if on cue, Gaz stepped through the door at that very moment, and immediately glared at Dib.

"Hey, look at the gothic freak!" said Zita pointing at Gaz. Gaz's death glare shifted to the now doomed Zita.

"I can't allow you to destroy Dib in class, skool policy, so I will allow you to choose the student that you wish to send to the Underground Classroom," said Miss Bitters.

At that moment, Dib prayed to every deity he knew of (for some strange reason Bigfoot was on this list) that Gaz would send him to the Underground Classroom, so he would not have to face her wrath, but he knew that was impossible, Gaz wasn't letting him off so easy.

For Gaz, the decision of who to send to the Underground Classroom wasn't a hard one, no one called her a gothic freak and got away with it. She raised her arm, and pointed her finger squarely at Zita.

"Good choice," said Miss Bitters, "she talks too much." Miss Bitters pulled the lever next to her desk and Zita's desk disappeared beneath the floor. A few seconds later Zita's desk reappeared, however Zita did not.

Gaz smiled evilly for a moment, before taking her new seat behind Zim, and going back to glaring at Dib.

* * *

Zim watched Gaz as she took her seat behind him. For some reason as he watched her sit down, he got an incredibly strange feeling in the pit of his squeedlyspooch. He disregarded it as the horrible filth that the humans called "cafeteria food." He then remembered that he was going to ask Gaz if he could watch her destroy the Dib-human after skool. He took a piece of paper and pencil out of his desk and wrote: 

'You're going to destroy the Dib-human later, right?'

He then folded up the piece of paper, wrote her name on the outside, pretended to stretch his arms behind him, and dropped the note on her desk. He quickly looked up to make sure Miss Bitters hadn't noticed anything, she hadn't, the execution had been perfect. Note passing was a universal talent, no child in the universe _wanted_ to get caught passing a note in class.

A few moments later he felt Gaz poke the back of his shoulder, causing that strange feeling in his squeedlyspooch to come back. He turned around and saw that she had the note in her hand, which was between the desks and the wall, so that Miss Bitters couldn't see it. He turned his head back to the front, so that Miss Bitters wouldn't catch on to what they where doing, and then reached his hand back to take the note from her. Since he wasn't looking at his hand he almost dropped the note, he and Gaz both tried to catch the note and were successful, but their fingers got tangled up in the process._What in the name of the Almighty Tallest is wrong with my squeedlyspooch? I'll need to have the computer run a diagnostic when I get home, _Zim thought. Once they had untangled their fingers he opened the note.

'Yeah, so.'

He picked up his pencil to write again, but suddenly stopped. He had to make sure he did this right, screwing up could earn him the same fate as the Dib-human, or worse, well, maybe not worse, he doubted there was a worse. He thought it over carefully, and when he was sure he couldn't wait any longer without her getting suspicious, or worse, angry, he placed his pencil to the paper again.

'So, I was wondering if I could watch, I enjoy seeing the Dib human in pain.'

He passed the note to her again. A few seconds later gave the note back to him.

'Sure, whatever, meet me in the playground near the jungle gym at 3:01. Don't be late. Just don't get in my way; because if you do, what I'll do to you will make Dib look very lucky.'

Zim shuddered, he had been wrong, there was a worse, normally for him to believe he was wrong it had to be proven to him, but he decided he could live without definite proof, just this once. He clicked his pencil so that more lead came out.

'Just what are you going to do to him?'

A few seconds later she handed the note back to him and he opened it again.

'It's a surprise. But don't worry, you'll like it.'

Zim smiled. Gaz was defiantly the best human in existence, although also one of the most confusing. She was the sister of the Dib-human, a relationship that he had discovered in his research was supposed to be one of unconditional love to humans, but Gaz did not appear to love Dib at all. Yes, she had rescued him once, but Zim had been under the impression that she hadn't enjoyed it, and that something of hers had been at stake. She also seemed to hate the rest of the humans as much, if not more, than he did. He hated them, but she was one of them, or at least she seemed to be. He wondered how she could hate her entire species like that; he couldn't see himself hating all the other Irkens unless they did something horrible to him, like sending him to a planet in the middle of nowhere to die. He considered using the note to ask her, but it might make her angry. He shuddered at the idea of evoking her wrath today, the words _'What I'll do to you will make Dib look very lucky,'_ floated through his head.

All humans and their emotions were confusing, but Gaz more so, she didn't seem to possess any of these emotions save one, anger, and it was more deadly than the anger of seemingly all others combined.

For once, Zim's mind was on the same topic as Miss Bitters' rant, doom, but not the doom of the entire universe, rather the doom of one very unlucky human. Today was going to be a good day, even if something was wrong with his squeedlyspooch.

* * *

**To Be Continued. **

**A/N: That's the end of chapter one. Review everyone! Next chapter up soon, hopefully. It may be a while before I get the next chapter up. I'm trying to always be a bit ahead in writing than I am in posting, I was going to finish this before posting any of it, but if it turned out that no one liked it, I would have wasted all that time. **

**-pat-pat-**

**-Dende-sama was here. **

**Allison**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, my debate state tournament was the weekend of the 26th and I went LD (a form of debate) for the first time and had to work really hard, although it was all for nothing because the judges were shitty as hell, but that's a story for another day. Not to mention that I switched from livejournal to xanga and got all distracted with making it look semi-decent (if you want to see it there is a link in my profile). Review words for this chapter are Meats of Evil. Read and review everyone, and also, starting next chapter, I won't respond to your reviews if you didn't read the author's note.**

**Also the GADR is going to be very minor, truthfully it's probably going to be a GADF as of right now, or maybe it will be a GADR, I don't really know where the story is going, so just stick with me. And I'm using a Jhonen-ish style of writing, meaning it will be a bit lazy, I think it makes it fit in the category. So if you don't understand everything just go with it, there won't be a "tie in all" ending, so don't worry about it. And if you try to tell me Jhonen isn't a lazy writer, I'll melt your face off… or something. **

**On a lighter note, if anyone cares I gave out meat on Valentine's Day. I also drew an Invader Zim picture for Valentine's Day, I'm trying to get it to let me post the link or even just a URL you can type in, just type the geocities URL and then /slytherindrow/MyGazandZimsketch.jpg if you want it, it's all I can do. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, if anything it owns me. **

**Now, onto individual answers: **

**Thejennamonster: Thanks for the review. In response to what you were saying about Dib's reaction, I wasn't really thinking about it, because, as stated above, Dib isn't the main character, and I haven't focused as much attention on him, although I'm working on making it better. I'm glad you found one of my Pepito references, did you see the other one, though? Congrats if you did! **

**Dibsthe: I think you're reading too much into this, it's just a bit of humor there for pointless amusement. If it was based off of something like Lord of the Rings, where everything had to make sense, it would be unfounded, but it's based off something written by Jhonen Vasquez, it isn't meant to be psycho-analyzed, or taken this seriously, Jhonen says stuff like this all the time. Sorry if my lazy, Jhonen-style writing makes you upset, but it's how this will work, if you don't like it, don't read it.**

**Maran Zelde: I don't think Dib-hating from everyone except Gretchen is exaggerated at all, it happens throughout the series almost every time he's in class. He is pretty hated from what I've seen and I've seen all of it. **

**Wobbly Headed: I didn't mean to offend anyone with the comment about flames, sorry. Thanks for the review. And I like your username, Wobbly Headed Bob rules! **

**Brittany: You too, God, I'm the only one who doesn't hate Gretchen. I think she's hilarious though, and could really be a cool character if expanded upon. **

**Cashew: Indeed, Gaz is amazing at Dooming! **

**Thanks to everyone else too! Sorry if I forgot you! And sorry that was so long! I will try to keep my promise of shortness in the future. **

_

* * *

Italics_ - Thoughts, and emphasis

**Bold** - Author's Notes

" " - Speech

' ' - Notes, quotes, etc.

* * *

**Now, onto the story: **

That Strange Feeling in the Pit of One's Squeedlyspooch Chapter 2

The clock moved slower than usual that day, Zim was sure of it, unless there were one-hundred and twenty seconds in every earth minute instead of sixty, as he had thought. His watch seemed to have stopped working as well, according to it, it was already Saturday. Then finally, after moving back to 2:58 from 2:59, twice, the clock finally moved to 3:00. As soon as the bell rang most of the students got up and ran for various exits; doors, windows, air vents. Zim turned around, but Gaz was already gone, even though he hadn't seen her go out the door, and was sure that she wouldn't stoop to going out through a window or air vent.

Miss Bitters grabbed the lever next to her desk. "All of you who aren't out of your seats in the next .79 seconds are going to the Underground Classroom!"

Zim jumped out his seat right before his desk, and all the others, disappeared into the floor, some taking their occupants with them.

"But that was only .789 seconds!" Poonchy screamed as he and his desk disappeared taking him to the certain doom that was the Underground Classroom.

Zim looked at the clock, he had thirty seconds to get to the before Gaz would leave him behind. He looked at the door, he would be late if he went that way, he looked at the window, it put him right on the playground. Zim sighed, it didn't seem very safe to jump out of a window, but it was a lot safer than evoking Gaz's wrath.

When he got to the jungle gym Gaz was already there, waiting for him, or just standing there, he couldn't really tell.

"So, now what?" he asked.

"You'll see," she answered. Gaz started walking toward the other side of the playground, where Dib was trying to reach the exit without being noticed; trying and failing miserably. When Dib realized he wasn't getting out, he decided on the next best thing, putting distance between himself and Gaz. Every time Gaz took a step forward he took a step back. This actually could have kept him a safe distance away from Gaz, that is, if it wasn't for the chain link fence that stopped him. When Gaz was about three feet away, Dib gave up on trying to walk through the fence and fell to his knees and began to beg for mercy. The young paranormal investigator's pathetic groveling was so sad that it would have evoked pity and forgiveness from most people. Unfortunately for Dib, the words "pity" and "forgiveness" were not in Gaz's vocabulary.

"Gaz, please, don't!" he begged. After a while Dib realized this wasn't working and changed tactics. "I'll buy you any video game you want!" Bribery usually worked.

"I can buy myself video games," Gaz answered.

"I'll do all your homework for the rest of your life!" offered Dib.

"Why do you think offering to lower my average will help you?" she asked.

Dib looked around, sweating, he was getting desperate, he had to think of something. Suddenly, it hit him, but worth it? Normally a decision of this nature would require him to talk to himself for hours, never actually deciding anything, but one look at Gaz's angry face, caused him to make said decision very quickly.

"If you don't destroy me," he said, the pain obvious in his voice, "I-I'll never watch Mysterious Mysteries again."

Gaz's lips curled into an evil smile. "Hmm, interesting..." she suddenly turned to Zim. "What do you think, Zim?"

Zim put on the act of thought for a moment, raising his arm and giving the "thumbs down" signal.

"Yeah," said Gaz, "that's what I was thinking."

Zim and Dib watched in admiration and horror (extra points if you can figure out who felt which!), as Gaz levitated about four feet off the ground and was surrounded by an unholy-looking pink light, while her eyes began glowing an equally unholy-looking red color.

"Gaz, why are you doing this? You're not even in Mr. Elliot's class anymore, why are you angry?" Dib questioned.

"Well, you're in my class," she answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Did you really think that you could get me stuck in your class until I graduate without evoking my wrath?"

"If I say, 'yes' will it make you angrier?" Dib squeaked.

"Take a wild guess," she hissed venomously. A small circle of fire appeared around Dib, making it impossible for him to move more than a few feet without being set on fire.

Zim smiled, Miss Bitters had been right after all, what Gaz was going to do to Dib was much worse than anything that she, Zim, or anyone else could have thought of. And all Zim had to do was watch, as Dib's was put through one of the most painful experiences of his life and that was really saying something seeing as his life hadn't been much more than painful experiences for a quite a while.

"I'm sorry Gaz, please, don't do this, please…" he begged.

"I'd shut up if I were you, your voice is only making me angrier," Gaz said, effectively shutting him up.

Just as Dib was about to close his eyes, resigning to whatever horrible fate Gaz had in store for him, a dodge ball came out of nowhere and knocked Gaz to the ground, causing the fire and unholy-looking light to disappear. Dib was still recovering from shock when he felt someone grab his wrist and pull him to his feet.

"What are you waiting for? Come on?" his "savior" asked, as she took off running, pulling Dib behind her.

"Who the hell was that?" asked Gaz, who now had a gash on her arm from hitting the pavement.

"I don't know her name, but she's in our class and she seems to _like_ the Dib-creature," Zim answered. The two shuddered and exchanged looks of pure disgust. As Zim helped her up he noticed the gash on her arm. "Are you alright?" he asked, wait, why did he care? He didn't know, but he was getting that strange feeling in his squeedlyspooch again, too. Maybe something was wrong with him; perhaps the Dib-human had poisoned him somehow, if so, he would have to wait in line to get his revenge.

"I'm fine," she answered. "It looks worse than it is."

"Let me see," Zim persisted, still having no idea why he was doing so, but assuming it had something to do with whatever was wrong with his squeedlyspooch, and decided not to worry about it until later.

"Fine," she answered, slightly annoyed, but giving him her arm. The gash was large, but not serious, although it was pretty bloody. Zim pressed a button on his PAK and a first aid kit came out. Then he began cleaning and wrapping her arm quickly but carefully. Gaz looked at her arm, noting how good Zim was at first aid.

"Where did you learn this?" she asked. "Don't tell me Irken Military training includes first aid."

"No," he responded, not even bothering to deny the fact that he was an alien, "I learned this out of necessity from living in a house with Gir."

Gaz nodded, in agreement, and Zim thought he saw her smile, if only briefly.

"Why are you doing this for me anyway?" she asked.

"Because…," he stopped, he didn't know the answer, the only idea he had was that it had something to do with whatever it was that had been ailing him all day, and it would sound so stupid if he finished his sentence with 'something is wrong with my squeedlyspooch.' But what could he say? If the Dib had anything to do with it… Wait, Dib, it was the perfect excuse. "Because I want you to destroy the Dib-worm."

"I will destroy him," she said, looking up and seeing that they were already a ways down the street. "They're already so far though, we'll never catch up to them."

"You're right, stupid ugly earth female-wait, I have an idea!" said Zim. "An amazing idea! Watch me amaze you!" He pressed a button on his PAK and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Zim, what are you—?" Gaz began, but as Zim's spidery leg things came out of his PAK, lifting them both eight feet off the ground, changed to a threatening, "You better not drop me, Zim. Because if you do…"

"I wouldn't," he answered, distractedly. He was concerned with the fact that his squeedlyspooch had done a horrible back-flip when he placed his arm around Gaz's waist, and even more concerned with the fact that he had enjoyed it. _There is something seriously wrong with me. But if I leave now…_ The words 'What I'll do to you will make Dib look lucky' flashed through his head again. He sighed, remembering his lack of desire to find out what could be worse than what she was about to do to Dib.

* * *

Once the shock, which was not so much from almost being destroyed as it was from being _saved_ from almost being destroyed, wore off, Dib began to become aware of his surroundings. Such surroundings as the street he was running on, how clear the pink sky was that day, a lamb-baby-dog thing on someone's lawn, and the person who had rescued him from certain doom. She was a girl from his class, kind of nerdy, with braces, and big teeth, and everyone made fun of her for having a big head, he didn't think it was that big, but they made fun of him for having a big head too, so he probably wasn't the best judge. 

"You're name's Gretchen, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Where are we going?" he questioned.

"My house, you should be safe from your sister and her alien friend at least for a while there," Gretchen responded.

Dib stopped and stared at her, dumbfounded, and mumbling incoherently. She had answered one question, yet raised so many others.

Most people, especially one with a head as abnormally large as Dib's, would think through the impending bombardment of questions and figure out which one was most important, and ask it, but not Dib, he decided to say them all at once, "Do you really believe me? Do you think I'm sane? Why are you helping me? Do you think my head is big?"

"Less talking, more running," said Gretchen, tugging on his wrist so he would start moving again, "they're catching up to us."

Dib turned around to see Zim and Gaz, making excellent time with the aid of Zim's extra legs, close behind them. Suddenly, Gretchen made a sharp turn and ran down a new street, and by the time he had gotten over the whiplash of the first turn, she made yet another turn, this time dragging him up the steps of a house. She grabbed her key out of her pocket, unlocked the door, and ran inside, dragging poor whiplashed Dib behind her.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, you're dying to know what Gaz is going to do to Dib, but it's actually going to be the main focus of the story, it was meant to be a minor diversion, but is taking longer than I thought. VERY IMPORTATNT: I'm not sure if it will be in the next chapter or chapter four, but I'm having a montage eventually and the music for it is _Love Stuff, _from Gravitation. I will send it to everyone with a signed review, if you don't sign your reviews then please give me your email address in the review and I'll send it to you. I might change the music, but it will definitely be from the Gravitation soundtrack, so I send you whatever I end up using. Read and review everyone. **

**-pat-pat-**

**-Dende-sama was here. **

**Allison **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so glad that so many of you like my lazy attempt at emulating Jhonen. There isn't really much to say here, except that I've pretty much given up on you all reading the author's notes and therefore will respond to your reviews with the only basis for doing so being if I feel like it. Part of me is glad that you didn't read the A/N, at least I don't have to go through the "You're on the Debate team? You really don't seem like the type," thing again.**

**The reason this took so long was I was writing Gir's Big Day with Invader Johnny. We worked really hard on it, and I think it's really good, and funny, it's some of my funniest stuff, so please read and review it, especially if you like Jhonen's other stuff, so many Easter eggs. Please, I would like more reviews for something I worked so hard on.**

**I was also working on a play for my school, _Godspell_, I was stage manager, it was fun, I love Tech Crew. But it's finally over (I'm glad I can get back, but I'm sad too, it's the last play of the year and I'll really miss teching.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, if anything it owns me.**

**Now for individual responses:**

**demigod's dreams: Thanks, and you were right about my demon effects, the lamb baby dog thing, and the Billy and Mandy reference, I'm glad that someone caught them. It's so great that there's so many of us reading all of Jhonen's other stuff. Please give me your email address if you want montage music though.**

**Maran Zelde: Thanks for the review, I'm so glad that there is another Gretchen fan out there, and don't worry Gretchen will be fine…-maniacal laughter -.**

**Abbey-Ryou: Thanks for the review, and stay tuned for more amazing, squeedlyspooch-confusing action!**

**Cashews: Thanks for the review; I'm glad that someone else is glad to see poor Gretchen. And montages are the things what rock, no?**

**Ginny-Hates-Them: Yeah, I try. Well, no, not really, I'm actually pretty lazy and therefore _try_ very little; most of this comes naturally. Thanks for the complement, though.**

**Invader Johnny: Thanks for reading my story, Gir's Big Day was fun to work on, though I wish we had more readers.**

**

* * *

And remember (lasers!):**

**Bold** – Author's Notes

_Italics_ – Thoughts, and emphasis

" " – Speech

' ' – Notes, quotes, etc.

Now onto the story:

* * *

Strange Feeling in the Pit of One's Squeedlyspooch 

Chapter 3

"There they are!" Zim yelled as he and Gaz rounded a corner behind Dib and Gretchen. Yet he was too late, because as he spoke Gretchen threw Dib into her house, followed him and slammed the door behind them. Zim looked at Gaz, and saw that somehow, she had become even angrier than she'd been before.

"Zim, put me down," said Gaz. Her voice was calm, but in a deadly way, and Zim knew that this was an order, not a request. Zim retracted his spidery legs into his PAK and as he placed Gaz on the ground he could have sworn that he heard a "SQUEE" sound. He suddenly wondered why he had not simply dropped her, he was sure if their positions were reversed she would do that, actually she would probably throw him up higher in the air. He doubted it would make her angry enough to do more than glare at him if he had just dropped her, why was her comfort a concern of his?

He looked up at the sky; it had turned from its usual pinkish color to an almost black grey. Lightning coursed through and the sounds of thunder followed soon after. If Zim had learned one thing about the horrible planet he inhabited, it was what those signs meant, painful, burning rain. The idiotic weather human had said that it would be a "beautifully clear day," and because of that Zim had not taken a paste bath, but the weather human had lied. Mentally Zim swore revenge against the evil weather human that had so wronged him, physically however, he looked around for a place to take shelter, and saw that Gaz had an umbrella that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. As he felt the first burning drop of rain hit his body, he ran under the umbrella and clung to Gaz, shivering, and felt his squeedlyspooch nearly implode.

"Well," she muttered, "it's better than being used as the umbrella, I guess." She looked down at the pitiful creature clinging to her. "My God Zim, this is pathetic, even for you."

"Easy for you to say, human," he answered, "if it were hydrochloric acid pouring from your horrible and not water, the situation would be the complete opposite."

"I really hope not, if I were as pathetic as you I would probably implode from self-disgust," Gaz answered.

Zim, not being smart enough to think of an adequate comeback, or any comeback at all for that matter, fell silent and just glared at her.

"Zim, let go of me, I have work to do." Gaz ordered. Zim didn't respond. "Look, the sooner I get done the sooner this can be over," Gaz said, annoyed.

"Can I keep your water-shielding device?" Zim asked.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Zim let go, Gaz handed him the umbrella and walked toward the house muttering about how every time it rained Zim and Dib always managed to get her wet. Zim followed her, being careful not to step in any puddles.

* * *

"You're safe now," said Gretchen. 

"As much as I admire your optimism, I sincerely doubt that," Dib answered, as he did so lightning flashed and thunder clapped as if to confirm his words, and to make matters worse, they soon discovered the storm had knocked out the power.

"Um, Dib?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Wasn't it a clear sunny day just a few seconds ago?"

"Yes," Dib answered fearfully.

"We're doomed aren't we?"

"You're just realizing this now?" Silence. More lightning flashed, causing every item in the house to cast a spooky, demonic shadow then disappear, doing the seemingly impossible; making the situation even scarier.

"Erm, in all the chaos and dooming and evil and stuff, I never got to thank you for saving me," said Dib, even though she had done the exact opposite of saving him she'd actually made things worse, but she had tried to save him and no one had ever done that before, at least not of their own free will they hadn't, and he was assuming it was the thought that counted.

"I'm sorry it didn't work," she answered.

"It's not your fault. I mean it's Gaz we're talking about here, there's no way it could have worked," he responded.

"I guess this is it then."

"Mmyup. It's just a matter of time. Any second now lightning will flash followed by a spooky sequence of events leading up to our doom."

"You're used to this by now aren't you?"

"Yeah," he answered, looking at the ground. Suddenly the lightning flashed again, and this time the silhouette of Gaz appeared in the window. Gretchen and Dib looked at one another and began running through the house. Every time they passed a window lightning flashed and Gaz's spooky silhouette appeared in it. This went on for a few minutes before Dib finally frantically asked, "Why does your house have so many windows?" He looked at the window next to them. "And why is that window open?"

Gretchen's eyes widened in horror and she quickly closed the window, but as I'm sure all of you smart people have figured out, it was too late. Lightning struck again, confirming to them that Gaz was inside, and that their doom was emanate.

"I didn't think even you were that stupid Dib, to try to run from me. What were you thinking? Oh wait, that's right, you weren't," came the voice of Gaz from the darkness around them. "Although I guess it wasn't entirely your fault, you had help. She must insane to try to help you, or maybe she's just on crack. Either way, I have to destroy you both now. You just had to make it hard for me didn't you? I really should extend the same courtesy to you." The unholy-looking pink light reappeared around Gaz and she levitated off the ground again, and Dib and Gretchen could see that Zim was behind her, smiling manically. Dib and Gretchen closed their eyes, not wanting to see whatever horror was coming next.

* * *

Zim opened the door of his small green house and walked inside. 

"You're home late hehehe!" said Gir, as he came running up to Zim to give him a hug.

"I was watching Gaz destroy the Dib-human, and someone else. It was amazing, she's almost as good as me! The part with the tazer was defenitly the best," Zim said, then blinked and looked at Gir suspiciously. "Wait, you noticed I was late?"

"You were late?" Gir asked, genuinely confused. "I didn't notice. Did you bring me string cheese?"

Zim raised, or rather would have if he possessed one, an eyebrow at Gir. "No, Gir, no I didn't."

Gir looked at him sadly, his eyes filled with tears and he began to scream and cry over his lack of string cheese. Zim was about to yell at Gir for using string cheese as a reason to attempt to break the sound barrier, but stopped when he remembered his squeedlyspooch problems from earlier that day.

"Gir! I'm going down to the lab. Mini-Moose, get in here!" Zim yelled. The purple moose-like sidekick floated into the room, with a squeak. "Gir, don't let anyone in the house! Mini-Moose, make sure Gir doesn't let anyone in the house!" Gir's eyes turned red, and MiniMoose squeaked.

Zim walked over to the table under which an entrance to his lab was hidden, and took the elevator down. As soon as Zim disappeared from view completely Gir turned on the television and he and Mini-Moose sat down and began to watch, Gir laughing manically as they did so.

* * *

When the elevator reached the lab, Zim walked up to the computer. "Computer!" he yelled. Nothing happened. "Computer!" Zim repeated, slightly annoyed.

"Damn Zim, I have a migraine. Do you have to yell like that?" the computer said.

"Yes, I do." Zim responded. "And how do you have a migraine? You don't even technically have a head."

"I live with you, Gir, Mini-Moose, and Skoodge and you don't see why I have a migraine?" the computer answered.

"Enough of your whining," said Zim. "I think there is something wrong with my squeedlyspooch, I need you to run a diagnostic."

"But I don't want to. Can't the other computer do it?" the computer asked.

"I guess so…wait, I don't have another computer!" Zim answered. "You think you can fool the almighty Zim?"

"Yes, I do. Just not when I have a migraine," the computer responded.

"Silence!" yelled Zim, "now, run my diagnostic!"

"Ok, I will. Anything to get you to stop yelling," the computer responded, agitated.

"Ha! Victory for Zim!" Zim yelled.

"You better have a painful, terminal disease," the computer muttered, as various probes and scanners surrounded Zim, and began to test him, blocking him from view and making horrible noises.

"Agh! Sharp, why is it sharp? Burning! Agh, it burns! Ah! The pain! What are you doing? That really shouldn't go there! Aghh!" Zim screamed. The probing stopped and the devices disappeared, leaving Zim slightly scarred and whimpering in pain. "Did it have to hurt that much?" he asked.

"No. But it's much more entertaining this way, don't you agree?" the computer answered.

"I don't like you," Zim said. "Now, tell me what's wrong with me!"

"Be patie—" the computer was cut off and it's voice changed to a deeper, more serious one. "Data received, imputing now! Computing... Computing! Results completed."

"And?" Zim asked.

"And what?" the computer, back to normal asked.

"What's wrong with me!" Zim yelled.

"Oh yeah, that," the computer said, "there's nothing wrong with you."

"You speak lies! LIESSSSSSSSSS!" Zim half yelled half hissed.

The computer sighed, that migraine was getting worse by the second. "Ok, there's

nothing wrong with you physically, that I can detect. So, why don't you tell me your symptoms and I can match them to those of a mental disorder or something of that nature?" it said, and a couch that looks strangely like the one in my psychiatrist's office came out of the floor.

"Fine then," Zim answered, sitting down on the couch. Zim retold his story with great detail to the computer, but somewhere he got, for lack of a better word, distracted and ended up telling a story that was anything but what had happened to him that day. "…And then they made me their chief!" he finished, with an odd hand gesture.

"Zim, you are aware that you were supposed to tell me what happened to you _today_, right?" the computer asked.

"No," Zim answered, shaking his head.

The computer quickly searched around the room for a self-destruct button, not finding one, the only option left was to try to help Zim again. "I'm probing your PAK," the computer said. A cable came out of the wall and plugged into Zim's PAK, and information was sent down the cord. Then the voice became serious once more, "Information received. Comparing symptoms with mental disorders. Computing… Computing… Complete."

"So, now do you know what's wrong with me?" Zim asked.

"Yes, let's see, it says here that you test positive for; Schizophrenia, General Mania, Psychosis, Obsessive Compulsive, and Attention Deficit Disorders."

"Huh—?" Zim said, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What was that?"

"But it says you've had those for almost your entire life, so that can't be what happened today. I'll try emotional problems, but then I'm done. I'm bored and I still have that migraine. Comparing symptoms with emotional problems," the computer said, not even bothering to alter it's voice. "Ok, done."

"And?" Zim asked, anxiously.

"Hold on a minute. Damn Zim, be patie—Twitching Crackbaby!" the computer exclaimed, and promptly burst out laughing.

"What is it?" Zim asked worriedly.

"You're never going to believe this, Hell, if I hadn't done the calculations myself, I wouldn't believe it, and I still might not…" the computer answered.

"What? What's wrong with me?" Zim yelled angrily.

"Nothings _wrong _with you. You're just…you're just…" the computer said, trying, and failing, to suppress it's laughter.

"Zim is just what?" Zim yelled, incredibly angry at this point. "Tell me, you horrible excuse for an interactive computer!"

"You're in love," the computer managed to say before bursting out laughing once again.

I will not even attempt to describe the look on Zim's face to you, for three reasons: first, I don't think I could do it justice, it's just that funny; second, these things are best left to your imaginations, as a writer, I feel it is my job to make you use your imagination every now and then; and third, and most important, I'm too damn lazy.

* * *

**A/N: Well, there it is, another chapter! I finally got to work, because I was sick and didn't go to school today. And yes, I know, you hate me for not depicting that whole Gretchen and Dib dooming scene thing. But I wasn't ever planning to do that, it's not in my original manuscript and it's not here. There are many reasons for this, some of them are here, if you want to read them. First, I didn't think I could do a Jhonen dooming scene justice; second, I wanted you to use your imaginations; third, Jhonen does stuff like this all the time (example: Gaz, Taster of Pork when they had just escaped from the lab), and fourth and most important, I'm too damn lazy (sound familar?).**

**Still read and review though, the story's not about Dib anyway, it's about Zim and Gaz, and how love is painful. And read GBD too!**

**-pat-pat-**

**-Dende-sama was here.**

**Allison**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here we go, a new chapter for the New Year (although it should have been up long before now.) **

**Also, I feel really weird about all the computer lines, because the computer is voiced over by Jhonen himself, and is supposed to be like him, so I tried to keep him Jhonen-ish (nevermind that Jhonen would not be proud of me putting romance in his story). I feel weird about them being so young too, but I couldn't think of any other way to structure all of it without making some huge passive tense explanation or a prologue. **

**IF YOU'VE NEVER READ ANY AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE YOU MUST READ THIS IT ACTUALLY MATTERS: Well, not really, I'm just gloating, but I met Rikki and Tavisha Simons at AWA (Amine Weekend Atlanta) about a month ago, it was amazing. For all of you who don't know Rikki was the voice of Gir, and he and his wife did some backgrounds for the show, they also write excellent manga. I got their autographs and stuff, I talked to Tavisha for a while, she was so nice. I had eaten nothing but pokey in the 12 hours before, so my mind wasn't what it should be, although that was probably a good thing, because as soon as I ate something and realized what had happened I almost fainted. I'm not one of those celebrity-obsessive types either, I understand they are normal people, but it was just so cool to meet people who had helped to bring something so wonderful into my life. **

**On a more serious note, I think you are all getting the wrong impression about my story. It is a ZAGR, but in my mind that's not a lot of cute shippy goodness. The way I see it they have two things in common; a love of video games (yes Jhonen has said that Zim likes video games), and a hatred of basically everyone and everything else, with special emphasis on Dib. So my options for bringing the two together is video games, Dib-torture, or both. And the Dib-torture link is a lot stronger, we never see Zim doing anything really video game related, although some of his plans are video game-like in nature, but we see them both partaking in Dib-torturing activities, so I just took what they would normally do on their own and had them do it together. Sorry Dib fans, but Dib-torture is basically the point of my story, I thought that was pretty clear, but I guess not. If you don't like, don't read, it's as simple as that. If you're into that kind of thing though, by all means, read and review. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, it owns me. **

**Ebola Spider: Erm, no… Gaz is my favorite, actually. I've said it at least 5 times in various author's notes and comments to people. It's Dib I hate, seeing as he's being tourtured. She just looks mean here because people forget what she's really like, because she's usually portrayed nicer in the fan fiction world. I try not to let how other fans portray her affect my own portrayal. The only thing I try to base her off of is the series. And also, she may seem a little mean, but I like characters like that, (the evil side of Lunch from Dragon Ball is another example, and Ran Fan from Full Metal Alchemist is a bit like this as well). I think they're cool, they're usually smart too, just a little violent. **

**Invader Johnny: Hey, thanks for reading my story! I'm looking forward to working on Squishy too, too bad no one bothered to read GBD (before it got taken down, that is), ungrateful, little… erm, anyway, thanks for the review! Hope we can get THOSE! to go better. **

**AmandaArtiste: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it, I'm happy with it. It's not Jhonen, but it's a cheap, slightly annoying imitation, kind of like an Elvis impersonator. **

**Ri2: Thanks for the review, and yes, Zim is definitely crazy, but so am I. It's confirmed and everything, I took a mental health test while writing the third chapter. It helped me a lot with characterization, because while I answered the questions for myself, in my mind I thought of how characters would do so. Fun Fact: I'm slightly Bipolar, and have a high elevation of hypo (general) mania. **

**Dibsthe1: I know it seems extreme that everyone hates Dib, but really, if you go back and watch the episodes, it's not. That's half of the point of the show, that everyone hates Dib, except for a few people, some of the members to of the Swollen Eyeball Network and Gretchen, that's about it, Membrane doesn't really hate him, but that's mainly because to hate him he'd first have to seriously acknowledge him. The only reason it seems extreme is because within the fandom so many people like Dib and it's easy to forget how it really is in the show. And also, you're still over-analyzing, this is meant to be _funny_, not really anything else, to quote Jhonen "Entertainment is just that and nothing more." This is one of Jhonen's fundamental beliefs, and if you disagree with that, maybe you shouldn't be watching or reading his stuff or for that matter mine. **

**Maran Zelde: I thought Gaz talked a little too much too, but at the same time, I felt like I wanted to have her say more stuff, just because I feel it opens the character more, if that makes any sense to you. It makes sense to me, but I've been proven to be insane. I was aware of the slight OOCness though. It was kind of a bridge, because she'll need to talk more in the story, although I'm trying to keep it under control. **

**Cashews: As I said before, sorry for it being late. The excuse is that I was working on GBD, and the full excuse is in that story, so read it, and review, because I worked my ass off. Thanks for the review.**

**Krissy119: Look! I did! **

**Remember:**

**Bold – **Author's Notes

_Italics _– Thoughts, and emphasis

" " – Speech

' ' – Notes, quotes, etc.

That Strange Feeling In the Pit of One's Squeedlyspooch

Chapter 4

"Love?" Zim answered, shocked, "but…the meat, and the pain, and the beans!" Zim cringed from the memories from his only experience with any kind of love.

"Yeah, that sucks for you," the computer answered. "Oh well. Gir, Skoodge, Minimoose! Come in here so we can point and laugh at Zim's misfortune!" A hover elevator landed in the lab and Skoodge and Gir walked in followed by MiniMoose. "We're here to point and laugh," said Skoodge, "what's going on?"  
"I forbid you to tell them anything!" Zim ordered the computer.

"Zim's in love," the computer said, and started laughing. Zim glared at the others, daring them to laugh, none of them did (it was a really scary glare), but they all looked as if hey were about to explode from not doing so. The lab was unbelievably, awkwardly silent for a few seconds, with the exception of the insane, slightly demented laughter of the computer. Then MiniMoose let out a small –squeak-. Skoodge and Gir began to chuckle and then broke into uncontrollable laughter, all the while at Zim. Zim glared at them, but it wasn't the evil threatening glare it had been a few moments earlier, it was a sad, angry glare, like that of a reader of this story waiting for the next chapter.

"I'm not in love with Gaz!" Zim yelled. "The computer is obviously malfunctioning!"  
"Proof!" the computer yelled triumphantly. "I didn't know _who_ you were in love with, I just knew that you were the fact that you know that it's Gaz is proof that I'm not malfunctioning at all!"

"Because I…because…" Zim searched for an excuse, unsuccessfully.

"Because you're in love with her," the computer finished for him.

"I am not in love with Gaz!" Zim repeated angrily.

"Gaz?" said Skoodge, after he had gotten his laughter under what could hardly be considered control, "isn't that Dib's little sister? Couldn't that be a conflict of interests, Dib being your arch nemesis and all?"

"No, that won't be a problem, she hates Dib more than I do, assuming that's possible," Zim answered.

"But still," responded Skoodge, "family situations are going to be pretty awkward, especially things like dinner."

"I don't know," said Zim, "her dad seems to like me, we had a pretty decent conversation a few months ago and— Agh! What am I saying?" He sighed. "This is all too confusing, I need to sit down." Zim looked around as if expecting something. "Computer can you not take a hint?" Zim asked in an impatient tone.

"Can you not just tell me what you want?" the computer responded, mimicking his tone.

"A chair," Zim answered. A chair appeared from the floor boards and Zim sat down. "I mean really it was pretty obvious. How advanced is a computer that can't think to bring up a chair when it's master says they're tired?"

"I'm a computer, not a maid," the computer retorted.

"Yes, yes," said Zim, waving his arms, as if that would make someone think he was paying attention. "Anyway this place is getting pretty dirty. I'm going to need you to vacuum it."

The computer sighed, and prepared to assign part of it's circuitry to vacuuming, when it remembered something, something that meant it wouldn't have to do any more mundane chores until the day it died (or rather, crashed). "You know what, Zim?" the computer asked evilly.

Zim narrowed his eyes at the computer. "What?" he answered cautiously, knowing by the computer's tone that it could be nothing good.

"If I were you I'd be a lot nicer to me, in fact I'd be a lot nicer to all of us," the computer said.

"And why's that?" Zim asked.

"Because, we know your secret now," the computer said in a strange, spooky voice.

"My what?" Zim asked.

"Your seeeeeeeecrt," the computer responded.

"So what?" Zim said. "Gir's attention span is so short I'm sure he's already forgotten, and that's assuming he knew what was going on in the first place, which I seriously doubt. MiniMoose can't do anything buy squeak. That just leaves you and Skoodge, and there's nothing you can do—"

"I guess that's true," said the computer, feigning defeat.

"Aha! Victory for Zim!" Zim yelled at the computer.

"That is except…" the computer trailed off menacingly.

"Except what? Except what!" Zim asked, stopping mid-victory arm motion.

"Except for an email containing the results of your mental and emotional health tests and a recording to your reaction to it, and of course, the conversations that followed like this one." Immediately the computer replayed the conversation Zim and Skoodge had just had. "Or my personal favorite…" The computer played the clip of Zim denying his love for Gaz.

"You wouldn't dare," Zim said, trying to sound threatening.

"Oh really?" the computer responded.

"If you do that I'll deprogram and replace you," Zim said.

"With who?" the computer retorted. "Going to use Gir's brain, again? Or maybe you'll use MiniMoose? I'm sure that will make things a whole lot easier."

Zim glared at the computer screen, but knew it was right. The computer was a necessary evil, and all the replacement AI brains were exactly the same as the one he was using. So Zim sighed, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day (the events of the day had left him feeling kind of angsty), and fell back onto the chair that he had just remembered asking for. "Fine," he said to the computer, "just whatever you do, don't send Gaz that email. "

"Oh don't worry, I was never going to send that email to Gaz," the computer answered.

"Huh?" Zim looked at the computer confused. The computer had never cared about his feelings or well-being before.

"I was going to send it to Dib," the computer finished. Zim stared at the sadistic machine in anger, making a mental note to never trust it with any personal information again, if it was in anyway avoidable. He noticed that Skoodge was laughing again. It was all really starting to get to him; the humiliation, the mockery, the confusion. He was completely sure that this "Love Stuff" was a lot more trouble than it was worth.

"And I thought family dinners would be awkward!" Skoodge said, though his laughter.

"Isn't there some life-threatening situation you could be in right now?" Zim asked him. "Computer, find the most life-threatening situation in the universe."

"Say please," the computer responded in a sing-songy voice.

"Please," Zim said, as though he has only said the word once before and hadn't enjoyed it very much the first time.

"Ok, I guess I'll do that," the computer said. "But you'll have to work on you manners, _master_." Zim's eyes narrowed at the sarcastic tone of the computers last word. "It says here," the computer said a few moments later. "that the most dangerously stupid thing to do in the entire universe is to… wow, that's close to home, steal Gaz's Gameslave 2."

"I'm not surprised," Zim said, remembering when he had tried it **(cancelled episode, "Ten Minutes to Doom")**. "But the last thing we need is for him to see Gaz, what's next?"

"Planet Meekrob," The computer responded. "It says here that there are a bunch of defective S.I.R. unit running wild there." The computer pulled up a picture of what one could assume was Meekrob, unless there was another planet somewhere where hundreds of S.I.R. units, possibly more defective than Gir, were running around wrecking havoc. In a corner of the screen a very haggard looking Tenn could be seen trying not to get killed, and having limited success in doing so.

"Computer, try to open communication channels with Meekrob," Zim said. He waited a few moments, nothing happened. "Please."

The computer issued a few beeps. "Communication channels: opened. Link: established. Signal strength: low."

The sight on the computer screen caught Skoodge's attention and he stopped laughing. "Tenn, is that you?" he asked.

"Hey! Tenn! How's it going?" Zim asked, enthusiastically.

"How does it look like it's going?" she asked him, angrily. "It's a miracle I'm even alive! I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to hold them off. The Tallest haven't called me and my communicator can only receive signals, I can't call out anymore. I've been completely abandoned.

The sight on the screen got Skoodge's attention. "Tenn, is that you?" he asked.

"Skoodge?" Tenn responded. "What are you doing with Zim?"

"After I conquered Blorch the Tallest had me do some training and stuff and then they sent me here. I'm not really sure why. But did you say you were abandoned? I don't understand, you graduated at the top of the class in the academy, and you're tall; well, taller than Zim and me. You were in the Tallests' favor. What happened?"

"I wish I knew. Meekrob turned out to have better defenses than we thought, they were beings of pure energy and had vast intelligence. The Tallest said that they were going to send a Megadoomer Stealth Mech to help me, but when I opened the box it was full of defective S.I.R. units." Ten replied. "There aren't many of us yet, none S.I.R.s I mean, it doesn't really matter if you're native or invader in a situation like this. Meekrob are beings of pure energy, but it is only because of their vast intelligence that they have any physical state at all, if it wasn't for their maintaining a physical state, they wouldn't even be on the same plane of thought that we are. Maintaining the state requires intense concentration for them to keep all the energy together the way they do. But with all the S.I.R.s causing chaos they couldn't focus and most of them simply dissolved into nothingness. They've gone from a population of over a thousand to one three that I know of. I don't know how much long they'll be able to take it though, we can only keep away from the S.I.R.s for a few hours a day now. And as for me, they've eaten all the food here, I'm on the verge of beginning to dissolve myself. The reserve energy in my PAK is running low. I'll have to start sleeping soon, but I don't know what'll happen if I do that. I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to die."

"That's horrible!" Skoodge exclaimed. He looked shocked and concerned.

Zim smirked, this was perfect. "I bet you could use some help," Zim said to Tenn.

"I really could, but what kind of idiot would help someone out of the Tallests' favor?" Tenn asked.

"This kind!" said Zim, pushing Skoodge forward. "Won't you, Skoodge?"

"I would, but I don't have a ship anymore, I crash landed, remember?" Skoodge responded.

"You can borrow one of mine," Zim said. "It won't be as fast or as well armed as the Voot Cruiser, but you'll get there. Computer, bring up a ship from storage!...Please." Immediately a shiny, sleek, fairly well armed ship came up from the floor. "Not a nice one," Zim said annoyed. The ship disappeared and was replaced by a not so sleek and shiny saucer-like model that seemed to have a plastic laser gun duct taped to the front. The ship wasn't in great shape. The idea of the ship flying was doubtful, the idea of it flying safely was laughable.

"Are you sure this thing's safe?" Skoodge asked, looking at the ship uncertainly.

"Of course it is," Zim said.

Skoodge still looked uncertain.

"What? Don't you trust me? Have I ever put you in danger on purpose before?" Zim asked.

"Uhh…" Skoodge answered, looking even more uncertain.

"Oh, come on," Zim said, "Nothing serious has ever happened. You're still more or less ok."

"I still have night terrors about that Hogulus," Skoodge replied. "And Irkens don't even sleep."

"Yes, yes, that's all very nice, but you have to go now," Zim said, distractedly. He pushed Skoodge into the ship and slammed the door behind him.

"What about food?" Skoodge yelled. Zim waved complacently, and pressed a big red button on the computer console. A hole opened up through the rest of the house and the ship blasted off. As soon as the ship had cleared the roof the hole shut again.

"Well," Zim said to Tenn, "it's been great talking to you, but I have to go. You two have fun now. Bye." He turned off the communicator before Tenn even had the chance to register the idiocy he had just committed, much less respond to it. "That takes care of Skoodge. I guess I'll just have to be nice to the computer. And I'm sure Gir doesn't even know what's going on anymore, that is if he ever did; but I should probably check just to be sure." He turned to Gir. "Gir! Can you tell me what happened before Skoodge left?"

"Skoodge left? Where'd he go?" Gir asked, confused. "Did he go to the cheese stick planet? Can I go too? I love them cheese sticks!" Gir then began to laugh insanely, and run around the lab, singing an maddening song about cheese sticks. Zim sighed, it was so ironic that Gir, possibly the most spontaneous being in the entire universe, was the only thing that had been predictable today. He also marveled at the fact that he had fallen in love with Gaz today, the last day of school, when he'd thought his troubles were over, at least for the next twelve weeks. The a thought hit Zim, pretty hard too, because he actually acknowledged it. _Maybe my timing wasn't so bad after all_, he thought. _At least now I won't have to see her. But wait, is that a good thing?. _He fought the sadness he felt at the idea of not seeing her for twelve weeks. _Of course it is. If I see her I might say something, something stupid. Even the great and mighty Zim can say stupid things sometimes, as rare as those times are. But then why does not seeing her seem like a bad thing? Is this "love"? It's really confusing. No! No confusion! All I have to do is try to avoid her. It shouldn't be that hard. _

Ten Minutes Later – Backyard at the Membrane House

"Now Dib, watch as I, Zim, engulf you world in flames of evil! Flames of evil!" Zim yelled, laughing manically. "You get to go first."

"Noooooooooooooooo!" Dib screamed.

"Yes," Zim answered, advancing on Dib with a strange alien-looking weapon that looked not quite unlike a flamethrower. Suddenly, the back door opened and if you can guess who came out I'll give you cookie.

"Oh hello, Zim," said Professor Membrane, surprising Zim and Dib and making sure that no one got any of my cookies. "I thought Dib was talking to himself out here, and had come to start his Crazy Bucket session early. Oh well, see you at 7:30 then, son. Have fun you two." Professor Membrane turned around and headed back toward the house.

Zim let out a sigh of relief, thanking every Tallest that he had ever heard of that it hadn't been Gaz who had just come outside. The sudden arrival of Professor Membrane had reminded him that he was supposed to be avoiding Gaz and that going to her house probably hadn't been the best way to do that.

Just as Professor Membrane was about to go inside, he stopped. "You know, up two always running around outside, it's good that you get out. Gaz doesn't do enough of that, she needs to get out more. The only reason she ever goes outside is to go to school or walk to the arcade. She doesn't do anything but play video games, and although that does develop hand-eye coordination, it doesn't develop social skills. She could use some of those, I'm going to go get her."

Zim opened his mouth to protest, but Professor Membrane was gone and there was no point in arguing with a closed door, not that Zim didn't seriously consider doing so anyway. _Now what? _thought Zim, _If I just leave this would be a victory for the Dib-worm, but if I stay…Agh! What should I do?_ Half of Zim's brain was telling him not to move and the other half was telling him to run away, as fast and far as possible. The result of the two contradicting commands was one of the most uncoordinated things Zim had ever done, and that was really saying something. His right leg went forward to as if to run, but his left leg refused to move, causing him to fall into a series of somersaults that came to a sudden halt when he ran into a tree. Dib pointed squarely at him and laughed, that annoying high pitch laugh that can make one forget that they already hated Dib, because they are filled with so much fresh hate, even though that doesn't make any logical sense. Zim felt the aforementioned hatred flow though him, it was one thing for his computer, robot slaves, and shorter peer to point and laugh at him, but it was something else entirely for Dib to do so. Now, exactly what that something was, Zim didn't know, not that it really mattered, all that mattered now was getting to his feet so that he could break his pledge to never help the human race by murdering Dib. But before he could do so, the door opened again and Professor Membrane came outside carrying Gaz, who was still playing her Gameslave 2. He put her down –squeak- , and smiled. **(yes, she squeaks whenever Professor Membrane puts her down, go back and watch) **

"Here you go, honey," he said. A slight shudder was her only response. He looked at her and frowned as if searching for something that was wrong, then he smiled with a look of discovery. He reached down and grabbed her Gameslave 2. The look on Gaz's face went from slight annoyance to a mixture of shock and murderous intent in a split second. "That's better," he said, a statement that Gaz, obviously couldn't agree less with. He patted her on the head, causing her to growl. "You three have fun now." He went back inside.

Dib, who, as usual, had failed the awareness test with flying colors, and did not notice his sister's overwhelming rage, and continued to laugh at Zim's expense. Gaz, not wanting to see her older brother happy, especially when she was so miserable, kicked his knee causing him to fall over as well. She kicked him a few more times. Gaz smirked and let out a sort of half chuckle that was as close to laughing as Zim had ever heard her get. Zim, now smirking at Dib as well, stood up and laughed, making sure to stop before Gaz got annoyed with him too. She was amused for the moment, but with her Gameslave 2 gone her overall mood was still far away from happy, even from a demented Gaz-version of happy,

Dib stood up a few moments later, rubbing his injured knee. "So, Gaz, what do you want to do?" he said, in his "I'm trying to be a good older brother and bond with you" voice.

"Well," she said, obviously not wanting to be a part of his bonding experience, "seeing as Dad took my Gameslave," she shuddered slightly, "I guess all I can do to amuse myself is to throw stuff at your head until you pass out or can't remember things anymore, or both."

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Db sighed. "I think your record time for a knock out one and a half minutes, with a garden hose, and I lost the memory of my 5th birthday."

"Weak," she muttered, "I can do better." She turned to Zim. "I could use some competition to motivate me though, want to play? Not that I consider you a challenge, but it's better than nothing." She smirked.

"We'll see who's a challenge Gaz… human," he added quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed him call her by her name without any kind of suffix attached to it. She hadn't, at least if she had she had given him no indication of it.

"Whatever. The point of the game is to throw stuff at Dib's head until he loses consciousness or forgets something. Whoever knocks him out fastest, with the more entertaining object, and causes him to lose the happiest memory wins."

"Sounds good to me," Zim replied.

"I hate this game," Dib said sadly, but he knew there was no point in him saying anything. He hadn't been able to stop Gaz from playing her little game when she'd invented it during his 4th birthday party, which he doubted he'd still remember after this game was over, and he definitely wouldn't be able to stop her now. He just really wished Zim wasn't playing. Gaz and Zim were bad enough by themselves, but together they were just horrible. And since he was almost completely certain that Gretchen wouldn't come along to save him from Zim and his sister this time, he tried to brace himself to the inevitable blows with blunt object to the head, a feeling that he knew all to well for someone his age.

TBC 

**A/N : Ok, I know I said that this would be the last chapter, but I got it all written out in my notebook and was halfway through typing it up, and realized it was already longer than any of the other chapters, and I really needed to update. So, I decided to split it up where it was convenient. I will get the last chapter up a lot faster than this one. There is really no excuse for how long this has taken, but I will probably have the last chapter up by the end of January. I'm so sorry everyone, I've been so lazy since last May.**

**-pat-pat-**

**-Dende-sama was here.**

**Allison**


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